H.R. Porter

Hunter learned a valuable lesson from his father at the age of 10; there is no such thing as paranoia. Hell, that's way too early to learn. 10 years and innocent, well, as close to innocent as Hunter got. When did I learn it? It would be when I was around 16-17 years old; 4 years ago. How? Well, a girl of course not the Law. But let us not dwell on that, that's not the point of this story.

Hunter's father was right; there is no such thing as Paranoia! Paranoia is just a word for taking precautions against your environment. Sometimes those precautions are totally useless, sometimes they save your life. You'd better take those precautions; better safe than sorry, right? So why are you labeled a crazed man as soon as you start thinking and acting on paranoia? Well, maybe because most people have never learnt the lesson of the true Meaning of Paranoia. I have, not once but twice. Take a piece of that Rotten Apple; see how You like it.

My "fears", if you want to call them that, came true for me a couple of months ago. I knew, or at least I thought I knew then, that I was heading down a road of Doom and Destruction much like the rest of the world but I did it in my own personal way.  Let us label my Fears her, always good to call them a she in the quasi-Equal society we have, right? Well, she, the fears, were looming larger and larger and hinting at a complete catastrophe and Breakdown for me. Not for her; Fears are always happy to be true.  At least I would, if I were a Fear. Strange thing how Fear revealed it's complete self to me. Not with a bang but with a whimper. Or maybe not a whimper (sorry, T.S.) but rather seemingly innocent actions, actions that spoke way louder than the oral Hints I've been getting for some time. Actions that made it hard to ignore it, even behind my sunglasses. So, I saw Fear standing there, in the rain, waiting for me, calling for me, TAUNTING me. The she of all the shes; Fear. How to respond, how to fight it? Well, you can't. Not in my position. Why not? Because I love Fear. Fear makes you feel alive, Fear makes you try, Fear makes you a Man. Too bad that Fear hates a brave Man. Fear looks for the brave and targets them the most. Why? Because Fear, without knowing it, is drawn to bravery; bravery that I tried to put up. Did Fear overcome my bravery? No. Not yet at least. There's still a lot of bravery inside me; it keeps me warm. Almost as warm as Hate would do for me. But you cannot hate Fear. If you hate something to the point of reckless hate, you loose your grip on reality and misjudge Fear through the shade of Hate in you. That's why I don't hate Fear. I respect it, I befriend it, and I encourage it. Fear is truly my friend. Learn to befriend it and conquer it then you will see the true side of Fear. Fear is a weapon. What I know about Fear can easily be turned against some one else. I haven't done it yet though I have thought about it. I have power in knowing Fear and knowing all of its dirty secrets.

Are some of you thinking that I really am a crazed dog rambling on about Paranoia? Well, wait until Fear turns you into a whimpering child, crying all night long for something, then, and only then, do you understand Fear. I never cried, I never showed feelings. Why? Because I had a powerful weapon; Paranoia. Yes, taste that word. Doesn't it feel bad? Rotten? It does, doesn't it? Well, that's because, compared to me and other soldiers of Paranoia, you are a draft dodger, a coward. I've been on the front lines of the Great War and fought for the Paranoia; against Fear. The legions of Fear are numbered in thousands, yes, millions, and they are multiplying fast, like rabbits knowing they will soon die and must produce and offspring. But have Paranoia been conquered? No. I lead my squad of brave soldiers of Fear much like the landing on Normandy on D-Day. Bullets of Prejudice, Hate and pure, uncovered Fear are unleashed, like Dogs of War. A bullet scrapes me but it doesn't kill me. That's the thing about the War against Fear; what doesn't kill you indeed makes you stronger. Yes, every near death experience only makes me stronger, makes me harder and makes me want to fight Fear even more. Paranoia is a strong weapon indeed. Paranoia is like comparing a Templar Knight against a Crusader Tank. Yes, the Templar sure could fight in his day but against a tank the Templar is cut down like wheat.

Yes, now I've revealed my Secret to you but you are none the wiser. Why not? Because you haven't joined me in the trenches, you never taken up arm against the ranks of the Fear Army. Well, shut up now, I'm getting to revealing. Time to post this story and get paid. Take warning and embrace Paranoia.
Until next time; grab life by the balls and spit in its face. So long.

Yours bravely,

H.R.P.